BRIDE NEEDS GROOM

Author: Wendy Markham ISBN: 0446614548 10/2005 CONTEMPORARY Publisher: WARNER FOREVER

Things to do before Grandpa Junie turns eighty-five…and I’m disinherited: 1. Find a guy to marry (preferably a stranger of my own choosing, not Grandpa’s) 2. Tell the groom it’s only temporary (and platonic, naturally) 3. Tie the knot asap! 4. Untie the knot asap! Queens-born-and-bred Mia Calogera needs a husband—like yesterday. Eloping with her Internet pen-pal Derek sounds like a plan. Which is why Mia’s dressed in a to-die-for beaded gown and white satin shoes, headed for the Chapel of Luv in Vegas. Advertising dynamo Dominic Chickalini has vowed to be the last single man standing. Then he spies the gorgeous bride-to-be in the aisle seat of the plane, haloed in a sunbeam. The sexual sparks fly, but this woman’s already spoken for. Or is she? When Mia’s wedding plans go south, she makes Dom an offer that’s hard to refuse. All Dom has to do is say yes. It’s not like it’s forever. It’s not like they’re even in love. So why does her heart pound at the thought of looking into his eyes and saying “I do?”

RRAH's THOUGHTS AND PONDERINGS:

The last book I read by Wendy Markham, HELLO, IT'S ME, was pleasantly surprising and quite touching. I was hoping BRIDE NEEDS GROOM would be, too. No such luck.

Basically, BRIDE NEEDS GROOM is about a couple of pretentious New Yorkers: The man—not a hero—is an Italian Casanova with no desire to settle down, and the woman—not a heroine—needs to get married so her grandfather doesn't cut her out of his will. They meet on a plane to Vegas, where she is planning on marrying someone she met online, when they find they have some mediocre chemistry and end up getting married instead. The rest of the book is about them trying to navigate the life of the newly married whom are virtual strangers. It's tame, it's lame, and it's boring.

There is no sizzle here and I could care less about the two shallow characters involved. Brief appearances by the secondary family and friend characters do little to lift this one up or add any spice. The dialogue reads like you are just chatting with your bud on the subway. Sorry to say it, but, BRIDE NEEDS GROOM needs help.

Shannon Johnson